So I joined this community on Livejournal, and every Sunday, someone teaches the community history in the least educational way.
This Sunday, I decided to sum up my year of Texas history. Oh, and since it's related to the series Hetalia, the personification of America wears glasses that represent Texas, and megane=glasses character.
One day, Spain showed up on mainland America and was all, "LOL LOOK GUIEZ LAND. MAYBE THE CITY OF GOLD IS HERE." so he wandered around like a retard looking for the city that doesn't exsist but he found a bunch of land and claimed it all, but he was a douche and just ditched it.
Then France showed up and was all, "LOL PARLE VOUS FRANCAIS?" and they were all, "No." and he was all, "WELL YOU DO NOW." and started taking all the land and, you know, doing France stuff.
Spain heared this and was all, "D:" and went to go find France to beat him up, but failed and got lost for 10 years and when he actually found a Frenchman, France had already left, so Spain did the obviously TOTALLY normal thing and burned the already-destroyed settlement then went around reclaiming the land all, "
YAY MY CHILDREN ARE MINE AGAIN" and went back to his pedo creepiness.
Eventually, Mexico was all, "WTF. I HATE YOU. GET OUT, SPAIN." and Spain was all, "D: ...D<" and they had this big independance war and Mexico won, but Spain was like, "lol no, I'm staying 'kay? 8D"
He left after 15 years.
After Mexico won independance, America was like, "lol so hey, can I move in?" and Mexico said, "lol yeah in Texas." so they did and everything was good after Spain left (kind of).
Well, for like a year.
America and Texas had been gossiping behind Mexico's back for a while, saying stuff like "UGH I HATE MEXICO'S BOSS" and "ME TOO. HEY WHY DON'T YOU DECLARE INDEPENDANCE?" so Texas said, "LOL OKAY." so Texas did.
Mexico, who at the time was the world's biggest dick, was all, "WTF. NUH-UH. YOU ARE MINE. I AM A SEXY MEGANE." and Texas was all, "NO WAY. SCREW YOU." so they started fighting and even though Mexico had a proffesional army and Texas had a bunch of random people from America, and Texas was, you know, raped on a couple of occasions, he snuck up on Mexico, who was showing his Spainsh stupidity by putting NO GUARDS ON DUTY DURING SIESTA, WTF MEXICO, Texas won.
After Texas won, Mexico, still being a dick, didn't leave. He said the borders were different, but Texas was all, "W/E, man, I'm a freaking COUNTRY." but then he realized he was broke, so he was all, "D: ...that's retarded, I'll just get America to pay it off by joining him."
So Texas went to talk to America and was like, "HEY SUP, SO, LIKE, WANT ME TO BE ONE WITH YOU?" and America said, "UHH HAY BRB, STATE ISSUES." Texas pouted for a few years then asked again and America was all, "UHH WELL I CAN SNEAK YOU IN I GUESS?" But Mexico, STILL being a dick, said, "YOU LET HIM IN AND I WAGE WAR WITH YOU, 'KAY?" but America didn't really care and let Texas in and ~*~became megane~*~
So Mexico started attacking and there was another war in which Mexico was owned, AGAIN, and so America took Cali, Arizona, and New Mexico.
But America paid him like 100 million bucks or something, so WTF America.